Is it really necessary?
Ah, the Summer holidays; glorious sun-drenched days of lazing around doing whatever you please…or the bane of home educators everywhere???
Today we had a great afternoon, visiting a local gallery which had a Family Open Day with lots of lovely free kids activities and workshops. We met various home educating friends there, enjoying the sunshine and opportunities to get arty. Sukie, Bobbie and Willow participated in the “drawing and sculpture” and “make a clay tile or coil pot” workshops, and Sukie had a go at throwing a pot on a wheel, though she was disappointed not to be able to take her effort home afterwards. Best of all, they did all this with good friends, and let’s face it, the right company can make any endeavour a pleasure! Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and we made our weary way home, pots in hand.
Within minutes of being home Bobbie and Willow were playing happily with some of the children who live in our street, who all go to school. All went well for a while- paper and pens were taken out so that they could sit and draw together, then acoustic guitars were required- how idyllic! Right?
As usual, things started to go pear-shaped after about half an hour- squabbles, name-calling, certain girls storming off saying that they were now “worst enemies”. Me sat indoors, sighing at the inevitability!
Bobbie and Willow are rather nonplussed at this seemingly “normal” childhood behaviour. Why do these girls feel the need to boast and lie and fall out every five minutes? This is not something they tend to experience with their home ed friends- no need for constant one-upmanship and trying to impress, they take each other for what they are and value each others differences.
Now, I’m not suggesting for one minute that Bobbie and Willow and their home ed friends get on perfectly- far from it. We have more than our fair share of sibling dramas, and they have been known to argue with their HE pals- but these things tend to pass by without the need for prolonged slanging matches, bitter grudges and side-taking.
So I sat surreptitiously listening and wondering: is this where I go steaming in, the over-protective mother- ordering Bobbie and Willow never to play with these children again, getting embroiled in the petty quarreling? Or should I let things run their course, hoping that they see the situation for what it is, and make their own decisions not to get involved?
I know that this scenario is nothing out of the ordinary- it happens every day up and down the country, in a playground near you. I’m sure that the general consensus is that it’s all essential childhood experience- girls are bitchy and gang-up on each other: that’s just the way it is. Trouble is, I’m not sure I believe that. Surely there are other ways to go about resolving conflict? Is all this really necessary?
I remember the playground politics when I was at school, and the price of fitting in. I don’t recall learning much from it, other than the fact that it was all a bit daft and pointless, and to be honest I think Bobbie and Willow have come to that conclusion without having to go through 11 years of schooling!
So….I kept my thoughts to myself today; will I manage to do so for six long weeks? Well that’s up for debate!